Stun Gun Update

I am not quite sure how to say this but... I am a moron. I placed a finger and each prong and lit that bad boy up, while at the tattoo shop, prior to gifting this to Mrs. Griffith.

Holy fuck.

God help anyone planning on mugging my mother whilst she walks the dogs. Not only did the 1 second burst feel like a lifetime, but it was as though an invisable ninja kicked me in the chest. It was not so painful as it was... well, shocking. I laughed and cried at the same time and was out of breath. I proceeded to roll around on the sidewalk outside of the shop thinking how much I didn't expect it to feel quite like that and simultaneously considering how the spectecle looked to onlookers.

Now here is the kicker to the whole situation: Shortly after said incident, I felt surprisingly loose and awake. Better than coffee, much like a good nights rest and a light tissue massage on my arms and chest. Had I been a mugger IRL (in real life, get with the lingo) this sudden onset of good feelings could possibly lead to a life changing moment.

Let me elaborate. I, a mugger, see an older lady on a leisurely stroll. I decide to rob this women as I am a typical lowlife. What transpires is a stun gun to the body and this lady kicking me while I lay there shamelessly unable to defend myself after the shock of my life. She leaves, and as I recover I flee to avoid the police, assuming she called them. After a light jog away from the scene the attempted mugging, I feel refreshed and loose, better than I did pre-mugging attempt. Did God want me to fail? Was he sending me a message that this was good for me? Have I lost my edge as a lowlife? A change is in order!


This young man goes on to do great things in life and turns away from his life of crime. All because of what some call the stun gun, while I call it the 200,000 volt Handheld Life Changer!

-CC:BJ