So the first real "weekend of summer" is upon us and we feel it is our duty to let you know the do's and don'ts of what to wear. So let's jump right into it shall we:
Do's: Mandals-always a hott look on a sunny beach or if you're just hitting up your local mall for some Chic-fil-a. Always remember thongs only.
Don'ts: Jerusalem Cruisers-these will more than damper the spirits of the people you're with. They'll turn your bar-b-que into an embarrassing situation for everyone involved. Also never wear with socks (unless you are at a water park).
Do's: American Apparel swim shorts-these skimpy items will bring the ladies flocking to your pool side cabana. They say, "Hey, I'm hip and edgy with no age limit required" and also "I don't really mind if my testicles fall out." Either way, you're golden (Note: this does not apply if you have elephantitis).
Don'ts: The Unitard-this thing backfires every time. I understand that a triathlon could occur at any minute and you have to be on top of your game, but doing this pool side won't get you very far with the ladies. Not to mention we will all be able to see what you're working with, and trust me, it's more like what you're NOT working with. Right, right? Anybody? High Five? No? Ok.
Hopefully you take these tips to heart. And just remember this memorial day weekend, wear sunblock.
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