Elvis has left the building!

Jumping the Shark - Viral Style

Hey everybody, look at how jaded we are!!!

This is a pretty lame spoof but since everyone is cashing in on apathy these days I'm sure this is a trailer for "Not Another Hoodie Nation Movie". Feel free to leave comments. I would read them but I'm already over it.

Amazing MJ Cover - Indie Rock "Beat it"

This is so awesome.

Queen>MJ

If the economy gets any worse I'm going to commit a crime in the Philippines so that I can go ahead and knock musical theater off my bucket list.

It passed inspection, but something isn't right.

CAN YOU DO THIS WITH YOUR TAP WATER? from JOSHFOX on Vimeo.

Ever been this drunk?

Drunkest Guy Ever Goes for More Beer - Watch more Funny Videos

Son, you're a dick.

Since I am soon to be a father, I now tend to look at some things differently than I did before. The above video is a perfect example.

It would've been much funnier to me a few months ago, but now all I can think about is having to sit down my athletically-gifted son and tell him "That was a great goal, but something needs to be said here son. You're a dick for a doing that."

Regretsy NSFW?

First, if you're not already familiar with the craft revival, look here.

Then go here and find the gems, or piles of shit, depending on your point of view.

wow?

Great Press Release or Greatest Press Release?

New Study Finds Mustached Americans Earn More, But Save Less

The Upside of Loneliness

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Do people really dress like this?

Urban Outfitters seems to think so.

Wait? That's not our team's logo?

This is a funny little article about some "pranksters" from a rival soccer team. Here is an excerpt from the text.


A phallus with two massive testicles adorned Worle FC's Station Road ground on Monday morning after the artful pranksters struck.

Worle FC assistant manager Mark Chesney said the club had locked its line painter away for the weekend, so somebody must have brought their own to the ground.

He said: "We reckon it was a jealous player from a rival club and we won't rest until we find out who.

"To be shafted like this is a bitter pill to swallow."


I'm unsure if his use of the word shafted was intentional or not but funny none the less.
Full Story Here

Sweet Lick of the Week

This week's sweet lick is from the band Mew. I know basically nothing about this band, except that I love the guitar playing at the beginning of this song. I actually have no idea if this will be a weekly thing, but it seemed like a nice title.

PS. I'd like to thank Mew for making the weirdest fucking video I've seen in a long time. I'm sure their label was really stoked when they delivered this thing. I'm also pretty sure they shit their pants when they got the bill for horse & slug rentals. Not to mention the horse & slug wranglers.

This has to be at the NJ Shore, right?

see more Fail Blog

The Sporting Errors of Kids

So we're back? I say we like I actually contributed last time. I laughed at all that was posted in my name but rarely did I find something to post myself. How about I start this off with the tragedy and triumph of high school football? You only need to watch about the first 2:30 of this video and then kindly tell me what you would say to this kid if you were his parent/coach...



I will leave you with this little fact. When I lived in New Baden, Illinois I played soccer. I was 7 or 9, something like that, and I played up a year and we were really good. In the 3 years I played soccer my team never lost a game. I hated the coach, he worked us to death even though we were elementary kids but in looking back, he was a great coach. I was the center full back and I'll stop bragging, but we kicked ass every Saturday like we got paid to do it. Then I got benched with 2 games to go in the season and it still haunts me. Let me explain:

We were playing and were up 5-0. The forwards and midefeilders were dominating so much that I was basically standing at midfield tracking down clearance attempts and passing them back in. I was literally playing NO DEFENSE, this team sucked huge ass. After a lengthy stretch of no action on my part the other team tries another clear, and the ball comes bouncing right up to me. Boing, Boing, Boing...in waist high bounces...and I catch it. CATCH IT. WITH MY MOTHER FUCKING HANDS.

I promise I was more shocked than anyone else that witnessed it. It was like a sneaky leprechaun had tricked me or we were playing Bayside High and Zack Morris had called 'TIME!' and placed it there whilst I was frozen. Immediately I knew I was in deep shit. Slack-jawed I looked at my coach as I heard a bewildered ref blow a whistle in the background, and coache's red face and moving mouth were surely profanities that should never be heard around little kids playing soccer. I, however, was in a sound vacuum and could only see the 'what a retard' expression on my team's faces. A sub was called for, I sat the bench too distraught to even eat an orange slice.

I asked the coach at the next practice if I was going to get to play that week and and he chortled back a "Fuh huh huuuuuck no son!" and looked at me like I was leper paraplegic. That was my last year of soccer and I began playing hockey the next season. I really feel for this poor kid that spiked the ball. Its going to stick with him forever...

Love.

A japanese robot programmed to emulate human emotions recently trapped a woman in a lab and hugged her repeatedly. The woman was only able to escape by calling technicians to temporarily shut the robot off.

Read the full story at Muckflash.

This is why I don't dance.

I know trucks don't usually end up inside of bars, but you can never be too careful.(Watch until the end.)

The Stinger! Amazing Future Car! Beachin'!

I wish this was my car!



Aaron, your scooter company should look into this!

Courtesy of our friends at Everything Is Terrible.

Chase Busey

So, tonight Chase woke up from a nap and looked a lot like Gary Busey!

Korean David Cook (The Artist Formerly Known as Pugsly)

Courtesy of our new friend at Dunkelziffer:

Check out this drummer. Is it just me or is this a lot like Perelandra?

CC:BJ - 5 Years ago minus BJ + Trey

There are bad days and then there are get tasered for drunk lawnmower driving days

This Is Why We (other people) Are Fat

I watched this video and got really hungry, but then I got really sad, and then I got hungry because I was sad, but then I got angry and now I'm just hungry again. I wonder if they make one with a fried egg on it!

Love,

Ben

The New Rick Roll...

Suck It America???

This is why you're fat.

via This is why you're fat.

This bird is a better fisherman than me.

The Future is Now

This is the coolest thing I've seen all week, if not all month and trust me, I see a lot of cool stuff. Not only does it go 150 MPH and have a completely electric eco-friendly motor, it also will guarantee that you are the coolest person at any locale. This thing makes the Batcycle look like that skateboard you got when you were a kid. The one that was shaped real weird and had Bart Simpson on it. That one.

It's called the Mission One, made by Mission Motors, which is a start-up out of San Francisco led by a former Tesla Motors engineer.

The best part is the price, it only costs $69,000.

We're Back, And Better Than Ever...

As you can see CC:BJ has been on "official hiatus" for the past couple of months. We had some legal troubles to sort out but now that we're free and clear we are back to give you more useless information that US WEEKLY. As you can see we've added an email address to the left so that you can send us your questions and we'll promptly respond on the blog. We're far from shy so feel free to ask us anything: love advice, career advice, the best asian massage parlors. We just want to remind you that we are here for you, the reader. We're not one of those corrupt corporate banks trying to steal your money (we never turn down donations). So congratulations America, the recession is in full swing but that doesn't mean we can't still be friends right? So email often and we'll get this new year kicked off right, just 1 month later than everyone else.

Penis Envy???

Does anyone remember Ben Affleck and Matt Damon? They were the two guys who wrote a screenplay that vaguely resembled the film Good Will Hunting, which ghost writers everywhere are still demanding they deserve the oscar for. Apparently when they first began schmoozing it up in hollywood they would go to these black tie affairs in full tuxedos with their pants unzipped. They would then have a contest to see who could touch the biggest celebrity with their penis fully exposed without them actually knowing. It's rumored this is how Clooney and Damon became such good friends. We all know Clooney isn't married for a reason and Damon might just be that reason. Anyway, if these two thought they were getting the last laugh it seems that they should have patented that idea before these guys came up with this on. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your next fashion craze:


The world can rest easy now. Dicks are everywhere.

I could look at this all day

Via Deadspin.

Super Bowl

Sometimes I like to think about how ridiculous the game of football is. Don't get me wrong, I love football, but it's ridiculous.

Case in point, instant replay. Every game is filmed from multiple angles and at least once or twice a game, the ref's have to use instant replay to determine what actually happened. The crazy part is that even with replay, most of the time nobody has a clue what actually happened.

This occurred quite a few times during this years Superbowl. Most notably, when Santonio Holmes made the nearly impossible game winning catch in the back of the end zone. Anyways, I guess the point I'm trying to get at is that the Cardinals fucking won.

(Note: I have no clue if the above photo is contextually accurate, and this whole post was just a joke to begin with. But for real, football is crazy.)

Oh Lord I Got High!!!

Here's a profound new video that's sweeping the internets left and right. This just disproves the theory that peyote really is for kids.