I'm Pretty Sure This Is Wrong

This poor girl is definitely innocent, but her parents are clearly racists!

To all of our single readers

I don't have a whole lot to add to this, but I'll just say that the fact that a Conservapedia even exists makes me very very sad.

Anyways, have a good weekend everyone and protect yourself from STD's.

The End of an Era

Today is the last day for Will Leitch, the founding editor of the Gawker owned sports blog Deadspin.

For those who don't know, Deadspin is a sports blog "for the common fan." It isn't about knowing lots of stats or other random facts. It's about enjoying sports for what they are and having fun with them. To give you an idea of what takes place on the site, just know that Anchorman quotes will get you banned from commenting, because they were used far too often.

Yesterday, some of the other Deadspin employees blocked Will's access to the site and began to post what amounted to a virtual roast. Roasters included ESPN's Scott Van Pelt and Bill Simmons.

Today is Will's chance to get back at everyone so it should be hilarious.

Deep V Necks

There is a very long and hilarious story on Radar chronicling the rise of the deep v-neck shirt.

I know a few Cc:BJ staff members are guilty of this, hopefully this will guilt them into giving it up. The only people who should wear these are Mario Lopez and possibly Jean Claude Van Damme.

Thank You Hollywood

Jason Bateman was on Countdown with Keith Olberman last night talking about his new movie "Hancock" which also stars everyone's favorite Rapper/Actor Will Smith.

Olbermann also talked to Bateman about his work on one of the greatest shows of all time, Arrested Development. Then, surprise guest and fellow AD actor David Cross showed up armed with a lint roller and they confirmed that an AD movie is in the works.

If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and go rent or buy the DVD's. I'm gonna go fire up the cornballer and start watching them again myself. Video below.

The New Frontiers

A few years ago I got a call from one of the guys in the band Colour Revolt. He said that he had some friends in a band that needed a show here in Columbia. The band was called Stellamaris. I hooked them up with a show and then they crashed at my house. Their van broke down the next morning when they were trying to leave and they were stuck at my house for 6 days! Who would have known that 3 years, 2 albums, and a name change later, The New Frontiers would be my wife's favorite band and one of my favorite bands.

Mike and I drove up to Charlotte to see them play with Denison Witmer (another one of my all time favorites). They were playing at The Milestone which is an incredibly sketchy bar. It turned out to be an awesome show. We had a lot of fun and a lot of free PBR! When I got home, I was showing Chad Shumpert some of their music online and noticed that they have an EP that you can download for free. Here's the link!

Ninja Soccer

Modern Childhood

This is my favorite thing of the day.

PS. It's photoshopped.

I'm Not Cryin, I Just Got Tears Tattooed On My Face

Music sales have been on a steady decline since the invention of the interweb. It's no secret that major labels are scrambling to figure out ways to keep kids in record stores and off of bit torrent. Well for the first time in 3 years Lil' Wayne has managed to sell 1 million copies in 1 week. When I first read this I thought there must be a mistake. I remember Lil' Wheesie from his hot boys days being sort of the "out of focus guy" in the group. I mean anyone who starts out their career by adding Lil' to their name clearly doesn't have aspirations for BIG things. I know I personally gave up on the hip hop game when Biggie went down (R.I.P), but never did I think someone so terrible could not only come along as the "savior" of the music industry but also a revered hip hop artist. I mean this guy looks like Lil' John and Wayne Brady had a crack baby. At least that would explain his name. Now I haven't heard the record so I don't exactly know what all the hub bub is about but, a guy I work with listens to hip hop religiously (seriously he attends an all rap service on sundays) and he said it's one of the worst albums he's ever heard. It's also odd that I haven't seen one advertisement for "Carter III" record. I understand that a 27 year old white guy isn't exactly the target market for such a record but you would think if a million other people were into it I would have at least heard of it. Maybe it just shows that I'm really starting to get older. I'll be like my dad always saying "what are kids these days doing?" I'll slowly begin to lose touch with what's cool and hip and fade away into obscurity. But in all honesty, if Lil' Wayne is a sign of hip to come, then I'll gladly retire to my island in the sea and watch the world burn to the ground all around me.

Confirmed: Bumper Stickers make you an asshole

toothpastefordinner.com

A recent study by psychologists at Colorado State has determined that people with bumper stickers on their car are much more likely to exhibit road rage.

This makes perfect sense when you consider that most bumper stickers (at least in the south) say things like "Keep Honking, I'm reloading", "Work Harder - Millions on welfare depend on you" and my personal favorite "Gun Control means using both hands."

However, the study found that people with bumper stickers promoting peace & acceptance were just as likely to exhibit road rage when provoked.

I think the lesson here is that the old lady in the 87 Plymouth Reliant with the "Don’t let the car fool you, my real treasure is in heaven" bumper sticker is just as dangerous as the mulleted truck driver with a "White Power" sticker.

Democracy

Here at Cc:Bj we believe in democracy wholeheartedly so we are asking all of our readers to vote on what they want to see from this blog.

Just vote on the poll to the left and if there is anything more specific, feel free to leave a comment.

We're open to just about anything short of nude modeling and album reviews.

Edit: The entire Cc:Bj team will be happy to do any kind of nude modeling as a "team" for a fee. But, it's not cheap or for the faint of heart.

Carnage

Apparently there was a drunk driver who attended a bicycle race in Mexico a few weeks ago. How this slipped past me I will never know. The driver fell asleep causing this huge pile up. It left 1 dead and 14 injured. I just hope this doesn't become a new ad campaign for biking to work to help stop global warming. A link to CNN's story here..

Actors Sniff Jackets

Slowly but surely Acting With James Franco is becoming one of my favorite funny or die sketches. I've been a fan since Freaks and Geeks but sort of thought he was taking himself too seriously with all the Spiderman crap. It's good to see he's still got his sense of humor along with an inflated bank account. Check out Episode 3.

Things I heard in Myrtle Beach

I heard two amazing things while vacationing in the sunny Myrtle Beach area.

thing 1:

Kate and I are at the Tanger Outlets near North Myrtle.  For the record, no I did not take her there, we went together.  No woman is gonna be the boss of me and give me orders.  Also, dang girl, they have a Puma store!!!

So, we are resting from the harsh June sun, and we hear what can best be described as a ruckus.  We try and see what's happening, as it sounds like a fight, and many people are looking in the direction of said ruckus.  But alas, we can see nothing.  Finally a group of very boisterous African-Americans comes around the corner.  

Right at this moment, a man, white, in his mid fifties as best we can tell says:

"We're about to have a White House full of that in about 8 months."

To which I replied:

"Holy shit!" and "Wow."  and probably "Wowzers!"

I cannot believe that this happened.  But it did.  

thing 2:  

Watching the news.  With my family.  

There was a story on gas prices affecting all parts of society.

They were interviewing a shrimp-boat-captain (although, maybe not a captain.  perhaps he was under the captains employ.  who's to say?).

The shrimp-boat-worker, commenting on the affect of gas prices, said:

"It really has a dramastic impact..."

Wow.  Also real.  

Both of these things happened on Friday the 13th.

Which, for those of you who don't know, 13 is my lucky number. 

Usually I would here point out that sometimes I have freakishly bad luck.

But not this day.

Finally

The moment we've all been dying for. Unicorns really do exist. This mythical creature was spotted in Italy. It is believed to have a genetic defect but I believe it was lost and looking for the magical rainbow back to never never land to roam with the lost boys.

If you love unicorns and really creepy paintings you have to check out This Guy's Site.HIs name is Jim Warren. The Tigress is by far my favorite.

Photoshop Disasters

The photo above is an ad I saw on myspace today. It caught my attention for two reasons. First of all, Dana Carvey is still working? Secondly, why does he look like Ellen Degeneres circa 1995 in the photo. Additionally, my dad really wanted me to get that haircut when I was a little boy. Either that or the "Macgyver", and I'm completely serious.

The answer to the second question is of course, photoshop. The computer program that has single handedly destroyed the art of photography.

This reminded me of one of my favorite blogs is Photoshop Disasters, which is pretty self explanatory. I hadn't visited it in quite some time, so I figured I'd share it with all 3 of you that still read this.

This Is Hollywood... Act Accordingly

In other odd celebrity couple news, it was just brought to my attention that Natalie Portman is dating none other than singer/cult leader Devendra Banhart. Now I can understand A-list actresses slumming it every now then. We get it, we do it too. We just don't go bragging to our friends about it afterwords. I'm sure after being pampered all day you want to go out and feel dirty for just one night. But dating and being seen in public with this riff raff is just plain spiraling out of control. Didn't we learn anything from Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson? I'm sure the pot smoking, patchouli wearing, scarf in the dead of summer look is tempting but you have to realize that it never lasts. It's not like he's cleaning up his act anytime soon. And if it's indie cred you ladies are looking for all you have to do is stick to Andy Samberg's Digital Shorts. It's true, we do love you Natalie but even we have our limitations.

Fast Food Therapy

Robert Downey Jr. was interviewed in OK magazine recently and spilled the beans on how we was able to get sober after years of heavy drug use.

Burger King. That's right. He ordered a burger so disgusting that it forced him to reassess his entire life.

I don't know if that means he was so high that the burger talked to him and physically forced him to do so, or that it was just disgusting, but either way it's pretty awesome.

I think if he told this story at an AA meeting he would get made fun of like Dave Chappelle did in Half Baked, except it would be real.

Hey, Isn't That The Buffy The Vampire Slayer Chick?

So last night I'm sitting watching the Lakers/Celtics final hoping that ABC can pull it together for one night and bring peace and harmony to the world by showing us A-list celebrities inter-cut with an occasional basketball game. You would think in a time like this we would have 3 hours of pre-game red carpet coverage done by Lisa Lampanelli, since Joan Rivers has been dead for 10 years, to bring us up to speed on who Penny Marshall was was wearing tonight. Which if you saw Penny it looked like Roca Wear and Fubu had a bastard child and she decided to put it on instead of burn it in a ritualistic fashion saving us from eternal damnation. Somewhere in the 3rd quarter as I'm being shown Eddie Murphy sitting next to Steven Speilberg (which with any luck Jurassic Park 5 is going to be hilariously scary, think Norbit meets Jaws) the entire broadcast falls apart and I'm left in utter confusion.

So when Jeff Van Gundy, who we all know is a talented coach on sabbatical/US Weekly columnist, is asked who is his favorite celebrity here tonight, he instantly shouts out Alyssa Milano as though he were possessed by an episodic demon on "Charmed". The only problem with this is that he goes on to say that "If I was that Nick Lachey (which he pronounces La-chee) I wouldn't let her out of my sight." I had to rewind my DVR to make sure I heard it right. Now it is a well known fact that in between being a useless human being and doing Cuervo shots with Matt Leinhart, he can be seen prancing around with former TRL queen Vanessa Minnillo. So for a second I gave Mr. Gundy the benefit of the doubt and kept waiting for the cutaway of the ex-newlywed and former Blink-182 groupie sitting side by side. Alas, that never came. This leaving me only to doubt the validity of Van Gundy's statement and laughing all the way through this clip. Hopefully Van Gundy has some risque photos of Lachey/Milano to back up his error or else Mannillo is going on the war path.

P.S. Where were you on this one deadspin?

Cobra Kai

There is a strange story of a man in India who was found dead on a roadside with a cobra carcass in his head. The details on this are so bizarre and vague that I feel like someone should write a choose your own adventure story about it. Here's what we've gathered so far:

1)A preliminary autopsy also found that Wiroj Banlen, 40, was wearing a condom although he was putting on his trousers. No semen was found inside the condom.
2)He was bitten several times by the snake on his right leg and on his cheeks.
3)His hands were clenching the dead cobra, whose body was bitten several times especially on its stomach.
4)The preliminary autopsy found scales of the snake in his mouth.

I dare you to fill in the blanks. Best story wins a cc:bj t-shirt.

LINK TO STORY

WTF?: Celebrity Edition

I don't pay much attention to celebrity couples, but this is too funny to pass up. The picture above is Hollywood's hot new WTF? couple. Mandy Moore & Ryan Adams.

It's a very strange couple for countless reasons, but my favorite part of them as a couple is that Ryan Adams looks like Mandy Moore's hideously ugly sister.

I can't imagine what kind of music they listen to when they are together.

(via Jezebel)

Cc:BJ Fourth of July Party Preview

This is what we did at last year's party.


Coolest Slip and Slide Ever - Watch more free videos

Need a Funny Minute 39?

There's a podcast floating around called Channel Frederator. I love it! The website is really cool, but it's hard for me to keep up with the website religiously so I subscribed to the podcast on iTunes. Over the past couple of months, they've added a weekly download called The Meth Minute 39 that I can't get enough of.

I love the Meth Minute for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is Dan Meth. He doesn't have a degree in this stuff. Dan Meth makes funny cartoons with his friends. My favorite characters are The Craigs. Here's an episode of The Meth Minute 39 featuring The Craigs.

Black Cab Confessions

So this is a cool site that my friend turned me onto. I have never really seen anything like and it might be one of the coolest ideas for filming a band I've seen in quite some time. It may also single handedly prove Jim James is a golden God or a druid. This is also how they should have ended Michael Clayton. Check out all these really cool intimate performances.

BLACK CAB SESSIONS

Huge Announcement

I am leaving my wife and everything else in my life and moving to Hudson Valley, NY.

I believe I have found my calling and a new life partner at the same time.

I met this incredible person while searching the Hudson Valley Craigslist for foie gras. Here is the ad that catalyzed this incredible life change.

The photo has been removed but I believe this person is incredibly attractive and looks something like Dolph Lundgren with long black hair, tattoos and chain mail.

I will be starting a fund within the next week for anyone who wants to help support me in this incredible endeavor. The fund will help me acquire a taller amplifier, chain mail and more guitar pedals and the services of someone to alphabetize them.

Click Our Ads... Make Us Feel Better

We love to party. And this year is the first annual CC:BJ 4th of July for America Celebration. In honor of that we're throwing a monster bash. The only hiccup thus far is that our google adsense revenue is just over 1 dollar. But there's hope and it's you. Just click on the ads. I know, I know, I don't want a Barry Manilow CD from Amazon either, but no one says you have to buy it. Just look at it. Then we get 10 cents towards our big blowout. And hey, you can even come. That's right. We're not just about shameless self promotion. We're also about sharing our shameless self promotion. More details about the party to come. But for now, click the ads and save a baby somewhere from being eaten by a bear.