The British are making fun of our President

And he's making it way too easy.

I think this speaks for itself.

It's America... What's Not To Hate?

I love it when I hear people ask "why do they hate us?". It reminds me of simpler times when we used to help organize coups in South America while the public watched Leave It To Beaver and sipped on mint julips. If there was ever a doubt in your mind it's just simply because we've gone too far. Gone are the days of pushing it under the rug. Now we simply flaunt it right in everyone's face. We simply find the single dumbest American we can, prop them up like Weekend at Bernies, and send them out to "represent" us. If you ever doubted it just watch this

P.S. I'm not bitter about it.

This is how BJ and I learned to play Goalie

Haven't we moved past this?

I read a story yesterday on Boston.com about a "controversial" Dunkin Donuts ad. It's not everyday that you get to say controversial and Dunkin Donuts in the same sentence and for good reason.

The article talks about a recent ad where known islamofascist sympathizer and celebrity "chef"* Rachel Ray sports a keffiyeh, which is a traditional headress worn by Arab men. To me it looks more like a pashmina but of course I'm neither Arab or into fashion,(except mandals) so I could very well be wrong.

Either way the utterly abhorrent Michelle Malkin(if you want to lose a lot of faith in humanity, read her column) decided that this is completely unacceptable and wrote about it in her syndicated column, even bringing up the possibility of a Dunkin Donuts boycott.

Sadly, Dunkin Donuts was pressured enough by the Right-wing blogosphere that they decided that it would be easier to just pull the ad. This of course pleased Malkin, who states, ‘‘It’s refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists.’’

Yes, it is refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to a handful of whiny cunts who attempt to make it impossible to enjoy anything that may possibly be somewhat related to anything from an Arab country. Good looking out Michelle.

Link.

*Even Rachel Ray won't call herself a chef, one of her few redeeming qualities

Hmm. I wonder why he won't go on their network?

We Know Fashion

So the first real "weekend of summer" is upon us and we feel it is our duty to let you know the do's and don'ts of what to wear. So let's jump right into it shall we:

Do's: Mandals-always a hott look on a sunny beach or if you're just hitting up your local mall for some Chic-fil-a. Always remember thongs only.

Don'ts: Jerusalem Cruisers-these will more than damper the spirits of the people you're with. They'll turn your bar-b-que into an embarrassing situation for everyone involved. Also never wear with socks (unless you are at a water park).

Do's: American Apparel swim shorts-these skimpy items will bring the ladies flocking to your pool side cabana. They say, "Hey, I'm hip and edgy with no age limit required" and also "I don't really mind if my testicles fall out." Either way, you're golden (Note: this does not apply if you have elephantitis).

Don'ts: The Unitard-this thing backfires every time. I understand that a triathlon could occur at any minute and you have to be on top of your game, but doing this pool side won't get you very far with the ladies. Not to mention we will all be able to see what you're working with, and trust me, it's more like what you're NOT working with. Right, right? Anybody? High Five? No? Ok.

Hopefully you take these tips to heart. And just remember this memorial day weekend, wear sunblock.

rick rolling?

i'm late to everything, but this is completely out of left field. Apparently this is a common prank called 'rick rolling', where a person is messed with just because they have to hear this song, which i have always been pretty open about thinking was awesome. I guess my whole life is a rick roll. in this one some people blasted the song in a london train station, and the entire place erupted in singing. I think that proves the song is awesome.

My kids will never listen to Dashboard Confessional

There is a really funny story over at The Daily Mail Online about the "sinister" cult of emo. The story is not supposed to be funny, but it's so over the top and alarmist that it reads like an Onion story.

The story centers around a young girl who was pretty normal until she became emo and then committed suicide shortly after. They mention that she chatted online about the "Black Parade", which as the article states is, "a place where emos believe they go after they die."

I don't know if they really believe this over in the UK, but I think it is more than sufficient evidence to go ahead and arrest all of the members of My Chemical Romance for murder.

Link.

Australia: Swimmers, 1; Sharks, 0

An Australian swimmer says he survived a mauling by a 16-foot shark by wrestling with the beast, finally getting free by poking it in the eye. The shark, believed to be a great white, seized Jason Cull, 37, by the left leg as he was swimming at Middleton Beach in southwestern Australia on Saturday. From his hospital bed, Mr. Cull, who was treated for deep lacerations, said he had punched the shark, which grabbed him by the leg and dragged him underwater. “I felt along it,” he said, “I found its eye and I poked it in the eye, and that’s when it let go.”

From the associated press

A Taste For A Zen Palette

So lately I've noticed the over usage of the word avatar. I see it in almost every blog I read and hear people talk about it. I never really payed much attention to how many uses of the word there are. So Avatar is a kid's show on Nickelodeon, a feature film in production by James Cameron, and something you create in Second Life that is a replica of yourself. I saw it in an IBM commercial, on The Office, and every time I log in to my Yahoo mail it wants me to "create my avatar". Don't you think this whole business has gone a little too far. I mean it's one thing if I'm creating Mii's of Hitler that I can parade around on my Wii, but another thing entirely when it starts to take over my real life. Not only that but the word Avatar is a hindu term for the "decent or incarnation of a supreme being." So now I'm just freaked out. If I combine the two usages that would mean that my Mii is more powerful and omnipotent than the real Me is. And if that's true then maybe I should delete that Hitler Mii right away before we take a terrible turn down memory lane. Thoughts?

Raising the Barr

i love third party candidates.

i cannot emphasize this enough.

but some people do not share this enthusiasm.  

you may have heard by now all of the talk about the Ron Paul cult.  

if not, google it.

i don't know about you, but when i hear cult, my mind instantly begins to debate with itself.

side a:  cults?

hell yes.

i LOVE polyphonic spree!

side b:  wait a minute, no you don't.

you're thinking of the flaming lips.

you ALWAYS confuse the two, even though they are vastly different.

plus, cults are weird.

side a:

give me one example.

side b:

ok,

the jonestown massacre.

side a:

two examples.

side b:

heaven's gate.

side a:

those hale-bopp comet freaks?

side b:

yes.

side a:

hmmm.

ok, ok, yes, maybe ron paul has a cult following, but i don't think they technically qualify as a RELIGIOUS cult.  

maybe they do, but i doubt it.

also, Ron Paul is not third party.

the fact that someone is trying to link THIRD PARTIES and CULTS is just a little ridiculous.  

and ignorant.

and gay.

gay as in weird.

BUT, now that you mention THIRD PARTY CANDIDATES (actual third party-ers, not just mainstream libertarians), let us devote our gaze to Bob Barr.

now, does Barr say some things that don't make sense to me initially:

yes, namely his "christmas light example," where he faults the government overextension with warning labels.  

i could be persuaded to believe and follow this.  

it sounds a lot better to me than the things the Rep's and Dem's are throwing at me.

i guess, simply put, the heart of the issue is, when we go to choose the leader of the 'free world,' each election year, i am sorely disappointed with my options.  are there really no better choices than two highly biased partisan figures?  

this election is so funny to me because you can't dislike a president without becoming some type of bigot.  

vote for hillary:  oh, you hate blacks.

vote for barrack:  oh, you hate women.

vote for mccain:  oh, you hate everyone... and everyone's grandchildren.

what if i hate Rep's and Dem's?

who will save me then?

fortunately we have Libertarian (granted, former Republican) Bob Barr.

my mom always tells me that i am foolish with my vote, and that i throw it away when i do not vote on the clear winner (also she thinks i am a republican(also, this is the worst insult* she can throw at you in front of her friends)).  

well, mom, i don't care.

i'll throw these votes away each year because i think that's one of the awesome privilege i have as an american... not to throw away my vote... but, to vote for the person i think most fit to run the executive branch of the government.

so, for now, i think i might have to go with Barr...

even though, surely he will split the republican vote, and ensure a win for the democratic party.

it's good to have options.

-mike

*= earlier i wrote "inslut"' and almost left it because it is an awesome word.

but i'll leave it here at the end.  enjoy.

Flippin Cars for Cancer

hey guys im alive!

I just saw a drunk bitch flip her camry on the interstate at 2:30pm. That is what we call alcoholism folks. I called the hwy patrol and reported her. She was trapped in the car but rolled down her window to tell me not to call the cops, she was OK. Then, despite her car not being on all four tires, the engine completely exposed and spilling fluids everywhere, she attempted to crank it and drive away.

The worst part, it took the patrolman almost 20 minutes to show up. Before he got there the lady kept trying to shake my hand and she told me she had cancer. An ambulance showed up shortly before the cop, and she wondered aloud if they could cure her cancer. She also told me she has been many places today and had many more to go. While talking to the paramedics she made me answer her phone, which was her husband. That was awkward to say the least.

"Is my wife OK?"

"Yeah, she is conscious but Im not sure she is OK. She is acting really drunk."

"Oh no, where are you?"

"I-20 westbound near exit 58."

"Oh man, Im in the Northeast...Im on my way, ill try to get there before the cops."

"Ive already called them, they are on the way."

"Shit."





Thats right! Nailed to the X, STRAIGHT. EDGE. straightedge revenge!!!!!!!!!!



ps- On an unrelated note my camry blew up. I need a new car. iPhone version 2.0 is coming soon and I am all over it. Also, its summer time. Lets go out on the lake. If you own a boat, ill bring the bbq, let do it! Call me.


-CC:BJ

Point Break 2

That's right. Your read it. A sequel is in development for one of the most classic surfing/bank robbing films of all time. Word's not in yet on whether or not Keanu will be back but the story is picking up 20 years after the disappearance of Swayze's character. It's unlikely that the Roadhouse star will be back considering he has cancer and every photo I've seen of him looks like he's 2 days away from death. Peter Liff is slated to write this one as well so hopefully they'll stay true to the original. God I hope they bring Gary Busey Back. Here is one of my favorite Busey freak outs from this year's Oscar red carpet.

Boys Don't Cry

Mike was so excited about Shadd's suggestion that he emailed me this picture!

It's Your Birthday, now take off your pants

We here at the CC:BJ office love cake. We love it so much that we keep interns around just so we can celebrate their birthday. Of course we make them go out and get their own cake, while we drink iced lattes and laugh at jokes about Star Jones. But today is a special birthday. It's our very own Mike Mewborne's big day. So in honor of that, we're all taking off our pants.

We are all animals.

Adorable animals.

For that not so clean feeling...

Last week I wrote about a man with a Pabst Blue Ribbon coffin. Today, I stumbled upon PBR soap made by Etsy seller dennisanderson.

I can only imagine that this soap is made for the few people who need to convince someone they were out drinking all night when they weren't.

I'm pretty sure if I had a hangover rubbing this all over my body would make me vomit instantly.

They should include a kit that allows you to look like Karl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force with every purchase, because that is how you are going to smell.

This stuff is like Axe bodyspray for the homeless.

My Morning Jacket Prepare for World Domination

Now I know I'm biased in writing this but being one of the bigger fans of MMJ I can't help but spread the gospel of Jim James. The Jacket played SNL this week in, what is my opinion, a long overdue fashion. In an age of pre-fabricated corporate mainstream music (see all local Rock Radio stations) there are very few bands who not only stay true to themselves but also stay true to their influences. Less often do we see bands pushing themselves to broaden their sound in search of a higher musical evolution, but instead, just pushing out more pop songs for the sake of album sales. We "indie rockers" have major beef with the music industry as a whole and always will. Falling record sales and even faster falling profits are taking major labels off their high horses and forcing them to come up with new and inventive ways to get people back to listening again. I have to give credit to SNL for keeping their ear to the ground and not just being a part of what I consider payola from the labels. This season alone we saw Spoon, Wilco, and MMJ which leads me to believe that they are actually paying attention to what the kids are listening to and not just taking the money to push another Godsmack or Creed on us.

Evil Urges drops in June and when it does it probably won't break the top 10. People won't be standing in line outside Virgin Megastore to pick it up but rather the ones who have grown with the band will silently rejoice in one of the best records from this decade. This record isn't the "new lynyrd skynyrd" that people have been labeling the jacket since Tennesse Fire. Instead this is an eclectic record that blends the bands entire catalogue into one monumental sonic masterpiece. I'm not saying that this is going to save rock n roll but it's just good to know that there are still people out there who are trying. In case you missed it:

Get these guys in a Levi's commercial.

I like to think that if I had this much athletic ability I would do at least a little more with it than these guys.

Shameless Self Promotion

Here's a video featuring Cc: BJ's own Shadd! The commercial also features Old Greg from the show The Mighty Boosh. This is a the 2nd of two commercials that Shadd has been featured in. The first commercial was an American Express commercial in which Shadd told a young child "no".

Papa Smurf?

So, my brother told me to look this guy up. Apparently he took colloidal silver because he was itchy. The results: Papa Smurf! The article is titled "One of the X-Men?" Pretty interesting.

50% panda, 50% dog, 1 gillion percent adorable, just like Aaron.

Is this a panda or a dog? I saw it's an optical illusion, just like Taiwan, or pole vaulting.

Living Leather?

A curator at the New York Museum of Modern Art had to make a decision he probably never dreamed of making when he took the job as curator.

He had to euthanize a "living leather" jacket made out of mouse stem cells. The curator said that the art was growing too quickly and was about to overflow it's containment unit. The piece called "Victimless Leather" was a small jacket made out of embryonic stem cells.

The question that always comes up in these situations is "Is this art?" To me this seems to be more of a science experiment than art, but I do see the artistic value in it as well.

Another recent art story in the news was an installation by Guillermo Vargas, a Costa Rican artist. He found a stray dog on the streets of Nicaragua and tied the dog in a corner of an art gallery. He instructed the attendees not to feed the dog. Some have said the dog died, while the gallery owner, said the dog was only tied up for 3 hours at a time while the gallery was open and was otherwise treated well. Vargas himself refuses to say whether or not the dog survived, but there are some pretty awful photos of the dog online.

I'm not sure exactly what to think of this, but I believe the point of the piece is that nobody fed the starving dog, simply because they were told not to and because they were told it is art.

It was clearly a terrible thing to do to an animal, but I think it says a lot more about the art viewers, then the artists themselves.

Do you feel that these are examples of art? What do you consider art?

Crows Outsmart Japan

Alfred Hitchcock once dreamed of a world where birds attacked at will and sent an entire town into a frenzy. Well lookout Japan, here comes your newest enemy. They are nesting on power lines and destroying garbage bags. Crows are apparently so rampant that they are causing major blackouts and sending fear into the hearts of the Japanese. “Japanese react to crows because we fear them,” said Michio Matsuda, a board member of the Wild Bird Society of Japan and author of books on crows. “We are not sure sometimes who is smarter, us or the crows.” So wait, Crows are smarter than humans? When did this happen? How could we have let this happen. Here's how.
“In the old days, crows and humans could live together peacefully, but now the species are clashing,” said Naoki Satou, the chief of planning in Tokyo’s environmental department, which conducts crow countermeasures. “All we really want to do is go back to that golden age of co-existence.”
Ah, remember the golden age? I remember when I used to be able to sit on a park bench and peacefully feed a crow some popcorn or sunflower seeds. Gone are those days and alas they are missed. Haven't the Japanese ever heard of scarecrows?
A link to this ridiculous article HERE.

NHL Eastern Conference Final Predictions

I could write quite a bit how awesome the series between the Penguins & Flyers is likely to be. I could also write about how much of a rivalry it is, and how it's likely to be the best series of the entire playoffs this year. But, that is what everyone writes, so instead, I am going to pick a winner based on a completely arbitrary set of factors that I am making up as I go.

The winner of each round will larger.

Teams

Pittsburgh_________Philadelphia

Sandwich

Primanti Bros.___________Philly Cheesesteak

Main Industry

Steel________Banking

Amount of Rivers

Three______________Who cares?

Also Known For

Having lots of bridges_____Not being as cool as NYC

Arena Nickname

The Igloo___________None

Famous Chef

None___________Masaharu Morimoto

Neighboring State

Ohio_____________Jersey

So there you have it. Pittsburgh wins in seven games. It was a close one, but thanks to New Jersey for finally doing something useful.

PBR Forever!

By Mary Compton, SouthtownStar via AP

A Chicago man has commissioned his own Pabst Blue Ribbon coffin.

If Cc:BJ had an official beer, it would either be PBR or Odoul's. So, until I see an Odoul's coffin, I am proclaiming PBR the offical beer of Cc:BJ.

The story is pretty creepy though because he has not only gotten into the coffin, but he also used it as a giant ice bucket for PBR's at a recent party.

I always find it funny when people latch onto weird things like this. He probably has a pretty normal life, but now he is just "the crazy PBR guy." That will be his legacy and that will be what people remember about him.

(via Slashfood)

Fans Of Music

I've been thinking a lot lately about music. Well, I'm always thinking a lot about music. People love music, but it's not as valuable as it used to be. The first albums I ever bought were Dinosaur Jr.'s "Without A Sound" and Weezer's "Weezer" (The Blue Album). I bought them on cassette and listened to them until they were completely worn out. I'm pretty sure the tape broke on the Weezer cassette and I tied it back together right in the middle of "In the Garage". It was that same passion for music that brought me to Papa Jazz and Manifest to buy Cassettes and CDs the day they came out. I would listen to the same CD on repeat for an entire evening. I would listen to songs over and over again until I learned the lyrics. Music was priceless.

Music doesn't hold the same value that it did when I was 13. Not only do we not drive to the store the day an album comes out, we don't even wait for the album to release. I'm guilty too. I don't remember the last time I listened to an album straight through. I still love music, but I'm not nearly as committed. I hate to admit that
I've gone the way of the current culture, but I have. It kind of bums me out. That's why I get super excited when I meet genuine music enthusiasts. I'm not talking about people who read AP magazine or Paste! I'm talking about the people who pay to go to shows, the people who buy merch from bands, the people who pre-order CDs months before they come out.

Recently, I've come to know a guy named Andrew. He loves music. He comes to shows with a tiny video camera and records them. He then splices the videos in to separate songs and posts them on YouTube. Here's a link to one of his YouTube sites for the band Dignan and here's a video he did from a Dignan show. Check out some of the other bands. Leave him some comments.

Meet My Cat Stevens

Here is a new video from the great Zach Galifinakawhoosie. Enjoy, responsibly of course.

Sorry, Wrong Number

Have you ever inadvertently called someone while your phone was in your pocket. I know this happens to Aaron a lot because his name is at the beginning of almost everyone's phone book. One time in college my parents received a call at 3 am from one of my friends by accident. During which my mom fabricated from what she was hearing that I had been stabbed and was trying to call them for help but couldn't talk. Needless to say she was a wreck all night while I was sound asleep in my bed. I woke up to 8 voicemail messages. Let's say for example I was, I don't know, fighting in Afghanistan and I accidentally called my mom at the same time. Well, one soldier from Oregon did just that. You can hear the gunfire and screaming in the background. This takes XBOX live to a whole new level.

NHL... Who's Still Watching? (it's professional hockey people)

Here around the CC:BJ headquarters we are always talking about whatever current event seems to be the most important that day or in most cases, hour. The other day a heated argument was fired up over the NHL playoffs. Now presumably NHL seasons are 82 games long (I wouldn't know for sure, I don't watch until the playoffs actually start). This year's playoffs so far have been nothing short of exciting and as we proceed closer to the Championship I thought we'd start openly discussing it and give you, the reader, a chance to throw your opinion into the hat about which team you are rooting for and why. Most of the members of the staff here are ex-hockey players (some even have lost teeth playing. I cracked mine in half ice skating in the 5th grade but there was no stick in my hand at the time, so I'm told that doesn't count). Being from South Caroline it gives me no real team to pull for regionally. The hurricanes maybe, but they are a newer franchise and I can't handle all these "Carolina" teams that are all located in North Carolina as though SC is the red headed step child of the Carolina family (The Hurricanes are located in Greensboro, NC, the Panthers in Charlotte, NC). As a New York transplant I wanted to pull for the Rangers but they never really inspired me and after their overtime loss yesterday they aren't even in it anymore. So, that being said, my roommate is from Philly so I find myself watching all their games and am now pulling for the Flyers. I know their are some Penguins fans that work at CC:BJ so to you I say, the war has begun.

Cinco de Mayo - Numero Dos

Turns out that there aren't that many ridiculous margarita recipes. Adding one additional ingredient is about all anybody can seem to muster.

So, instead I will post anything I feel like posting, as long as it somehow remotely relates to Mexico.

Below is a recipe for Duck Tacos with corn and blood orange salsa, stolen from My husband cooks. I want to eat these more than you can probably imagine.

Duck Taco w/ Blood Orange and Corn Salsa
Yield: 4 Tacos
Time: 45 min
Ingredients:
1 small duck breast
4 small flour tortillas

Spice Mix
1 tbsp. salt
2 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. chipotle powder
1/4 tsp. red pepper flake

Salsa
1 11 oz. can corn (or 3 ears of fresh)
2 blood oranges (juice)
1 jalapeño (diced)
1/2 medium onion (diced)
2 cloves garlic (minced)
1/2 cup fresh cilantro (chopped)
salt
pepper

Garnish
avocado
monterey jack, queso fresco or other cheese of choice
sour cream
hot sauce

Directions:
1. With a sharp knife, score the fat on top of the duck breast. You want to cut all the way down to the flesh but not into the flesh. You are trying to create more surface area for seasoning and channels for that delicious duck fat to flow through.

2. Mix together the seasoning and pat all over the duck. You want to get it into the channels created by the scoring. Cover and let rest. This can be very short (20 min) or overnight.

3. Preheat oven to 350F. (Note: While the duck is cooking or even before, you can make the taco shells and salsa. For directions, see steps 5 and 6.)

4. Place an oven safe pan over medium high heat. Once the pan has heated for a couple minutes, place the duck, fat side down, in the pan. Let cook for 3 minutes or until the fat starts to cook down. Turn over the breast and place in oven. Cook for 15 min; time to check the temperature. You may need as long as another 15 minutes. You are looking for 160-165F. If you want the duck well-done, then 175-180. Let the meat rest for 5 minutes, and then remove the fat layer and slice in thin strips.

5. Time to make the salsa. In a medium-size skillet over medium heat, add the corn, onion and jalapeño. Liberally salt and pepper. Stir regularly. You don’t want to add oil here unless you are using fresh corn. The canned corn will have moisture that you are trying too cook down. Let cook over the heat for about 3 min and then add the garlic. Continue to cook for another 3-5 min or until the corn begins to pop and darken in spots. At this point, the onions should begin to turn color and the corn should have a slight orange hue. Remove the cooked ingredients to a bowl. Add the cilantro and blood orange juice. Time to taste. Add salt and pepper if needed. Cover and refrigerate until ready to use.

Note: This should be a relatively mild salsa. If you want more heat, you can add a dash of hot sauce or choose to add more jalapeños or a hotter pepper, such as a serrano.

6. Making your own tortillas. In a heavy skillet or cast iron pan, add about an inch of oil. Let the oil heat to about 325F. Using a pair to tongs, place the tortilla in the oil and fold half over. Use the edge of the pan to hold the tortilla in place. Cook like this for about 90 seconds to 2 min. Grasp the other side of the tortilla and repeat. By the end of the second period the taco shell should have set in the form we’ve become familiar with. Let rest and drain on a paper towel until ready to serve.

7. Time to bring it all together. Pile your ingredients in beginning with the slices of duck. Add the salsa, avocado, cheese, sour cream, hot sauce or whatever your heart desires. Enjoy!

PETA Hates The Vertically Challenged

Horse Jockey's have long been looked down upon, literally. They have learned to use their vertical disadvantage in positive ways by building a niche in the horse racing community. Now PETA wants to take that away from them. Tragically at the Kentucky derby Saturday a filly named Eight Belles had to be euthanized after the race. The horse came in 2nd place but as it was slowing down it fell breaking both legs. Initially it was labeled a freak accident but PETA is now convinced that it was the jockey, Gabriel Diaz's, fault. They claim that "we can probably blame the fact that they're allowed to whip the horses mercilessly." Now they are not only demanding Diaz be suspended and forfeit his 400,000 2nd place earnings, but they are also making ridiculous demands to change the entire sport in general. The demands are as follows:

1) No racing or training for a thoroughbred until it turns 3 years old. The organization contends the animals' legs aren't fully developed until then.


2) No more racing on dirt tracks. The group says the synthetic surfaces now used at Keeneland in Lexington, Ky., and at California tracks are far safer and result in fewer equine breakdowns and fatalities.


3) Cap the number of times a horse races each year.


4) Ban whipping. PETA says that when jockeys flail horses with a riding crop the animals can be forced beyond their physical limits.

At least jockey's have a hobby, horse racing. I think PETA should look into getting a hobby of their own... any suggestions?

Cinco de Mayo

In honor of Cinco de Mayo I will be posting as many ridiculous Margarita recipes as I can find throughout the day.

The first one, courtesy of Drinknation.com, is for a Breakfast Margarita. We here at Cc:BJ say, why wait until noon to drown your sorrows.*

Breakfast Margarita:

Ingredients

• 1/3 oz. Grand Marnier
• 1/3 oz. Jim Beam
• 3 oz. Gold tequila
• 1/3 oz. Grenadine
• 1/4 tsp. Jam, blueberry
• 1/2 tsp. Jam, lemon & lime
• 1/6 oz. Lime Juice
• 1/6 oz. Sugar Syrup

Mixing Instructions

Muddle blueberries, 1 segement of lime, blueberry jam, lemon and lime marmalade in a Boston glass. Add all the booze and other liquids, then shake over ice, double strain into martini glass. Then garnish with a segment of pancake blueberries and a tiny pinch of blueberry jam.

* Only Shadd and I actually ever say this.

Latest Script Deals

From time to time I will chime in with some Hollywood news and probably give my opinion on how terrible the news is. Since we have no clue what type of blog this is; politcal, sports oriented, topographical (that's just a blog about maps), we will give you whatever news we deem is necessary for your survival. Maybe this blog is a survival guide?


LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - MGM has pre-emptively picked up a fantasy comedy spec script that might be up for the longest title of the year award: "Executive VP, David M. Murch's Adventures in the Land of Zametherea."

The story centers on a boy who has the ability to travel to a magical land, but after coming home and telling his parents about his fantastic adventures, they have him committed. Thirty years later, the boy has grown into a coldhearted big-shot mergers-and-acquisitions executive when he gets the call to return to the magical land of his youth. The man must get help from his estranged son, the only person innocent enough to save the land of the man's youth.

Peter Speakman and Michael M.B. Galvin's script went out Wednesday morning and sold by mid-afternoon. They received an $850,000 advance against a $1.35 million payout if the movie is made.

Call me crazy but isn't this just Hook? Who pays a quarter million dollars for Hook 2? Did they even make a Hook 2?

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - New Line has made its first purchase since being downsized to a unit of its Warner Bros. corporate sibling, plunking down a $500,000 advance for "Dan Mintner: Badass for Hire," a comedy spec script by Chad Kultgen.

Producer Beau Flynn described it as: "The baddest dude in the world in supertight jeans, chewing on a matchstick, stuck in the '80s but kicking ass in the present day."

Flynn said the project will be an R-rated comedy in the spirit of "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" and "Wedding Crashers," the kind of movie that "classic" New Line was good at making and that the new iteration will be making as well.

Kultgen wrote "Burt Dickenson, The Most Powerful Magician on the Planet Earth," which is set up at New Line.

This actually sounds pretty funny, if you like Thunderbird convertibles and titles with peoples names in them. That seems to be this writer's forte. I'm sure they'll do something crazy like give the lead a mustache. Shoot me now people.

The men we will become.

When I am at work I go to lunch with two of the higher-ups.  I do this often; not because I want to pull rank, or really care about the conversation to be had (it's mostly engineering and marketing jargon beyond my understanding), but simply because they are most often the first to ask.  "Ready for lunch?"  Sometimes I initiate this, but often I am left waiting.  This is frustrating because they are on salary, and I am paid hourly.  Sometimes I have to leave a task half finished because they walk on out the door.  

We're in line at a fast food joint.  I don't eat red meat, but sometimes I can stomach a barbeque sandwich for a day.  A crowd of southern good-ol'-boys walk in, and I am immediately filled with contempt and subsequent guilt over my immediate reaction.  

I am not sure what I hate more about the people.  Is is the uniformity?  The clothing?  The large oxford with short khakis?  The lack of self-respect?  The ignorant racism (as opposed to well-read racism)?  The drinking?  The date rape?  The arrogance?  The easy jobs?  

I get lost in it, which is not surprising, only because anger is not a fixed thing.  It passes, along with reason, like a puff of mud in a river stream.  It is nothing.  

I remember our similarities, these dudes and I.  I remember that my parents wanted me to be like them.  I wonder if they are disappointed that our differences outnumber our similarities.  

Conversation is predictable;   inside jokes about old employers, new products, Rush, the damn Chinese.  Also predictable is the eventual notice of the non-contributing third party.  

One strikes in to me "Still getting married in August?"

"October."  

"Yeah, October.  That still happening?"

The other takes his cue.

"Married?  Why would you do a thing like that?"

I am not sure if this is a real question.  

I have been asked this as a real question before.  Fortunately I see the antagonistic grin arch his face before I have time to answer with any sincerity.  

I shake my head, hoping the attention will pass from me.

The second man is now quoting a joke, by a woman whom he points out is "reasonably attractive," concerning divorce.  

This is not funny to me.  

Perhaps it is because sometimes I am moody.  Sometimes I am also too literal, while others I am not literal enough.  But as an engaged man, divorce is not funny to me.  

It's almost like the song by Pedro the Lion.  I don't want divorce to be an option.  But getting married these days, you have to admit that the numbers are stacked against you.  

My parents are not divorced.  Making wedding guest lists shows you just how many people you know, to some comfortable degree of acquaintance, so it means something when I say that only a handful are also in this category.  

Divorce is not an option for me.  I hear lots of "it was the best thing to do in our situation," and while I can appreciate that sentiment to a limited extent, I never want to have to say that myself.  It scares me, the way death scares someone going under the knife.  The whole point is to NOT die; but in tackling the procedure, you have to admit you come a bit closer to death before you can get away from it.  

What bothers me most about this whole ordeal is knowing that if my future makes me into one of these men, I fear divorce would look a bit more like an option to my wife.  And I would not be able to blame her.  

I think it is natural to fear the men we will become.  

But it's in those moments, when you've time-travelled to meet your older-self and hate what you see, that you travel back and create your own alternate timeline.  

It's sort of a hopeful thing eating with people you don't want to be with.

Then I want to rescue them.

Then I want to throw their food in the floor, and give them a piece of my mind (whatever that means).

Then I want to show them the err of their ways.

Then I want to show them how wonderfully unselfish I am.

We drive back to the office.  These two men will close their eyes in the parking lot, waving to and fro to the mystic beats of Neil Peart, while I escape back into the warehouse.  

I have a friend who says that if any two people could trade lives, even with some clear improvement, that no one would take it.  

Sometimes that is good to hear.  

No Politics in this Entry - Just Flatulence

Two German companies have patented a new technology that allows scents to be sent via text message.

Check out the hilarious story over at Gizmodo.

My vote

Aaron made a suggestion that we should post about our voting choices this upcoming election. I have put this off mainly because I don't know what to do when it comes time to elect someone. I hate all the choices.

I would not go as far as to say I hate all the candidates. All three front runners are doing what they are supposed to be doing. They are pandering to the American public in a way they believe will win the hearts and votes of the people. The problem is, what I want from a President and what the candidates offer me as a Presidential hopeful are miles apart.

Once again, this is not the candidate's fault. It is the American public's fault. How is this? I could trace this all teh way back to the civil war our country experienced but that would be boring for all but the most interested political Historians. The example I would like to give you is something very dear to me: Public Education and the Tenth Amendment.

If not intimately familiar with our Constitution, perhaps the greatest document of democracy, allow me to remind you of the 10th.

"The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."

It started in Reconstruction and endured throughout the turn of the century. It gained steam in the 50's and it choked our Republic finally with the Reagan Administration. What I am alluding towards if the trampling of the Tenth amendment. The Federal Government passing laws and creating agencies to handle what should be an issue of state's rights.

When Ronald Reagan ignored the Constitution and created the Department of Education it was proof we have allowed the government to lie to us and We The People have forgotten what we are allowed to govern ourselves.

The Department of Education is exists in spite of the Constitution saying it cannot, because the Constitution does not address education, public or private. The word does not even appear in the document, and trust it is not because the founding fathers had forgotten about education, or gun control, or taxation, or anything else not addressed in the Constitution. They simply wished for a weak but binding Central Government while allowing states and people to decide things for themselves.

I am a little lost even in my own thoughts so let me get to the crux of the situation. Our government is far too large, its powers far too reaching, and we have forgotten that the country was founded in defiance of such tyranny. Somehow the Feds have made the American public believe the government should answer questions, solve problems, and give them a handout. Rather than forging through life with the intense ambition of the people that founded this country, we allow Politicians not only to solve our needs, but let them feel empowered by relying on them.

I do not need a President that calls for 'change' when our definition of change are vastly different. My idea would include eliminating 50% of government and giving states more power, his would be implementing even more policy requiring states to abide by. I do not need someone telling me if I may own a gun, get an abortion, or regulate what my children may and may not learn in a classroom. I also do not need a President that will go to war over commodities.

Basiclly, fuck all of them. None of them have my best interests at heart, none of them appreciate why this country was founded, none of them once in office would be willing to give up federal control to the states, an not one single candidate cares about my plight through this life. Not one of them has earned my vote, but they have all earned my spite.

But what can you do?


-CC:BJ

1 Vote for Obama

This is my second attempt at writing this post. My first attempt was incredibly long and probably boring. It also talked more about the problems with the other candidates than it did about why I am supporting Barack Obama. I'll try to keep it short(er) and sweet this time.

Most of my friends know that I'm pretty political and tend to lean to the left. By lean to the left, I mean they think that I believe in mandatory universal health care for pets and that aborted fetuses should be burned as a source of green energy. I'm totally against both, just in case anybody is keeping score.

However, the truth is that I am actually in favor of a lot of core Republican principles. The problem is that in my lifetime no Republican president has ever put any of these principles into action. For instance, smaller, cheaper, more efficient government. I'm all for it. There are few things more "American" than using ingenuity to figure out the cheapest, most efficient way to do or produce something. Although it is sometimes immoral & to our detriment (slavery, lead-tainted Chinese products), this type of ingenuity has driven our economy throughout it's history. However, no Republican president in my lifetime has ever made the government smaller. In fact, they have all made it larger. The worst offender being Reagan.

That being said, I have always voted Democrat and will continue that this year in November, no matter who the final candidate is. However, in my opinion, one of the candidates, Barack Obama, is a much stronger candidate.

First of all, he doesn't accept money from any corporations, lobbyists, or Political Action Committees. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but to me it is huge. I believe the biggest problem with our government right now is the influence that corporations and lobbyists have on our senators.

Obama is also a civil libertarian. If he wins the presidency, he will be the first true civil libertarian in our history to do so. This is incredibly important this year considering all of the basic constitutional rights that have been violated by the current administration.

Finally, I think Obama's campaign has transcended him. It's bigger than him. More people have donated money to Obama than any other candidate in US history, and he isn't even the nominee yet. His campaign has been funded by regular people making small donations, not corporations and rich people donating the legal limit.

I could go on for much, much longer, but that is who I am supporting. Now a funny picture.

this is for you aaron. it shows how i feel about your lack of motivation on this jesus juicer business.

This is a pie chart about procrastination.

This American Life

My favorite TV show of all time premieres it's second season this Sunday at 10pm. It's only on Showtime, but you can probably find a torrent of it online after it airs.

If you've never seen the TV show, it is exactly the same as the radio program, except well, it's on TV and you can see it and stuff. It may not sound that great, but it's one of the most beautifully shot programs on TV right now. I find it much more moving than the radio show just because of the ability to see the subjects instead of just hearing them.

They also have a film showing in select theaters for tonight, for one night only. Go here to find a showtime in your area.

Below is a preview of the new season.

Gary Colmeman NOT Dead!!!

This post is for Aaron mainly, only because of his huge man crush on Mr. Coleman. For those of you that don't know Gary Coleman was married a couple of months ago for the first time. In fact, at the age of 40 he claimed to be a virgin when he got married. As of a month into the marriage the two had still not consummated their vows and it doesn't look promising for the near future for either of them. That's right they're going to Divorce Court. Airing today the two will be battling it out to the bitter, and I do mean bitter, end. Here is a video to brighten your day, it sure did mine. I can only hope he says "Whatchoo talkin bout Lynn Toler?".

Mission Accomplished

It's been 5 years now.